Holding Space: Caring for Ourselves and Each Other in the Wake of the Flooding in Central Texas
The rain has finally let up—but what’s been left behind is heartbreaking. Over the last few days, Central Texas has experienced catastrophic flooding, and the impact has rippled across our communities in so many ways. Some of us are dealing with damage to homes or property. Some are supporting children who are grieving the loss of a classmate or friend. And many more are carrying the quiet weight of simply witnessing it all—sitting with sadness, worry, or a sense of helplessness.
As we return to work this week, it’s clear: things may look normal on the surface, but for many of us, nothing feels quite normal. This is the second major weather event in six weeks, and it comes after several natural disasters over the past few years. If you’re feeling worn thin, low on bandwidth, or just not yourself, please know there’s nothing wrong with you. These are common, human responses to overwhelming events—whether or not they touch you directly.
Stress and Grief Take Many Shapes
You might have lost someone close to you. You might be managing cleanup or navigating insurance claims. You might be having hard conversations with your children, trying to help them make sense of something senseless. Or you might simply feel heavy-hearted—deeply affected by what others are going through, unsure how to help, and overwhelmed by it all.
Stress and grief don’t always announce themselves clearly. You might notice:
- Feeling distracted or foggy
- Low energy or disrupted sleep
- Irritability or a short fuse
- A sense of disconnection or detachment
- Tears coming unexpectedly
- Feeling numb, even when you know you care
These are all common ways our nervous systems try to cope. Our brains and bodies are still responding to a buildup of stress hormones from ongoing crises—extreme weather, the pandemic, community losses.
There’s no “right” way to feel right now. What you’re experiencing makes sense.
A Few Ways to Support Your Nervous System
When things feel unclear or overwhelming, it can help to come back to what’s simple and within reach:
What do I need right now? What would help me feel a little more grounded?
You might need:
- Movement (walking, stretching, dancing, biking)
- Stillness (meditation, yoga nidra, a quiet moment alone)
- Connection (time with someone you trust, a phone call, sitting in silence together)
- Expression (writing, drawing, music, crying)
- Comfort (a warm shower, a weighted blanket, drinking water)
- Action (donating to a fund, dropping off household goods, helping a neighbor)
Sometimes, caring for others can be a powerful way of caring for ourselves—especially when offered freely, without pressure.
This 30-minute “Yoga for After Disaster” practice from Austin teacher Adriene Mishler may be a gentle and supportive place to start if you're looking for something grounding.
Even a few minutes of tuning into your body, taking a deeper breath, or offering yourself permission to feel can begin to shift things.
Supporting a Friend, Colleague or Student Through Grief
Whether you’re supporting a friend, a colleague or a student, it can be hard to know what to say or do. The truth is there’s no perfect script. But your presence matters. A few things can help:
- Make space for their feelings. Listen without trying to fix anything. Let the sadness, confusion, or anger exist. Let them grieve in their way and on their timeline.
- Avoid rushing to silver linings. “At least…”, “They’re in a better place”, or “Everything happens for a reason” can feel dismissive, even when well-intentioned.
- Say something, even if it’s simple. “I’m so sorry for your loss”, “I’m thinking of you” or “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here to talk or not talk” can go a long way.
- Offer practical help. Specific offers of meals, rides, or small acts of care can make life a little easier.
- Stay present over time. Show up (not just at the funeral). The days and weeks ahead may be hard in ways we can’t yet see. Acknowledge anniversaries.
Supporting a Child Through Grief
As a parent or caregiver, you don’t need to have all the right words. What matters most is your presence, your honesty, and your care. When we offer children clear, age-appropriate information—especially in hard moments—we’re building trust: trust that we will tell them the truth, that we believe they can handle big feelings with our support, and that they can come to us when something doesn’t make sense.
One of the most powerful ways to support a grieving child is to tend to your own emotional experience first. It’s natural to shift into caregiving mode and focus on what your child might need—but start by pausing. Take a breath. Check in with yourself: What are you feeling? What’s happening in your body? What might you need to feel just a bit more grounded? Children are incredibly attuned to the adults around them. When we make space for our own feelings, we’re better able to create that space for them, too.
Drawing from the work of Dr. Han Ren, Dr. Becky Kennedy, and Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, here are some ideas to consider when talking with your child:
- It’s okay for your child to see you have feelings.
Let them see you cry or express sadness. When you honor your own emotions without judging or avoiding them, you model healthy ways to move through hard things. You don’t have to be perfectly composed—just real and steady. If you need to gather your thoughts first, talk with another adult before starting the conversation. - Set the tone with care.
Think about what might feel supportive for your child—maybe you talk while walking, sitting with a snack, or having something tactile like play dough or a fidget nearby. Safety starts with connection. - Start slow. Don’t just jump in.
Begin with something like, “I want to talk about something serious, and it’s okay to have big feelings about it.” Speak slowly and make eye contact. This keeps the connection strong and helps your child feel safe. - Use clear, honest language.
When kids ask questions, they’re ready for truthful answers. Use real words that are age-appropriate and avoid vague phrases. This builds trust and helps reduce confusion or fear. - Make space for feelings—not just facts.
As you talk, pause and ask, “What’s it like to hear this?” or “How does that feel?” Silence is okay. You can say, “I know—this is really heavy.” If they get upset, reassure them: “It’s okay to feel sad. I’m right here with you.” - Ask what they already know or have heard.
Sometimes kids already have partial or misunderstood information. Asking gently gives you a chance to fill in the gaps with clarity and care. - Invite questions.
Let your child’s curiosity guide what you share. Respond to their questions honestly, and resist the urge to over-explain or give more detail than they’re asking for. - Offer comfort and reassurance.
Let them know they are safe right now, and that the adults in their lives—including teachers, caregivers, and helpers—are working hard to take care of the things that feel scary.
Many parents wonder if there’s a “right age” to talk about hard things. There’s no one answer—you know your child and family best. But if you think they may hear about the event from peers, at camp, online, or on TV, it can help to bring it up gently ahead of time—or be ready to talk if they come to you with questions.
Clear, direct, and loving communication—offered while connected to a trusted adult—is one of the most important things that helps children feel safe and understood when the world around them feels confusing.
Some further articles on extending care to our children following a natural disaster are:
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network has several tip sheets in English and Spanish for parents and caregivers.
“Talking to Children When Scary Things Happen” https://www.nctsn.org/resources/talking-to-children-when-scary-things-happen
“Creating Supportive Environments When Scary Things Happen” https://www.nctsn.org/resources/creating-supportive-environments-when-scary-things-happen
“Well-Being Practices: Gentle Reminders for Times of Stress” https://www.nctsn.org/resources/well-being-practices-gentle-reminders-for-times-of-stress
How to Teach Our Children Emotional Resilience with Dr. Becky Kennedy
PBS's guide to Helping Children with Tragic Events in the News
A Way to Support Colleagues in Need
In recent weeks, the Staff Emergency Fund has been a lifeline for employees facing urgent needs—replacing food, repairing homes, and covering basic necessities. As more colleagues turn to the fund, resources are running low.
If you’re looking for a way to help, a donation to the Staff Emergency Fund is a direct and meaningful way to care for fellow staff members during a difficult time. Even a small contribution can make a difference.
Click here to make a donation to the Staff Emergency Fund.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
You don’t have to have it all figured out to reach out. Sometimes the hardest part is not knowing what you're feeling, or how to name it. Other times, the questions are more practical:
How do I support my child through this? What do I say to my students? How can I show up for a fellow parent who’s grieving?
Wherever you are right now, the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is here to help. We offer short-term counseling, and we can also connect you with community counselors offering free or reduced-cost sessions in response to the flooding. The referral list includes providers for children, adults, and families, many of whom have specialized training in trauma and natural disasters, and are committed to offering ongoing, steady, compassionate, and evidence-based care as our community recovers.
Browse the referral list here
If helpful, we can also talk through what local resources might be available—from the city, the county, or through the Staff Emergency Fund.
To get in touch, call 512-471-3366 or email eap@austin.utexas.edu.
Whatever these days have been like for you—whether you’re grieving, feeling worn down, or quietly witnessing the pain around you—you’re not alone. We’re here to walk alongside you, not to fix or rush, but to help you carry what feels heavy.”